Well I hate that I am here yet again to write about another disappointing big race. This one however tops the cake. Ive been writing on here, facebook and twitter the last few months about how strong I was feeling and how good of shape we knew I was in. This is/was all true leading up to my race at the Olympics. I felt like I was in the best shape of my life and that I was really going to put down a great time. I feel like I had done everything right this time and that nothing could go wrong.
The day of the race I thought I did everything right. I was feeling really good when I got to the race course and still no thoughts of doubt came into my mind. When the gun went off, my plan was to go with the girls I knew that I could walk with, girls with similar PBs or even a bit faster. I did this and the pace was feeling really easy and good. Went through 5k in around 23:05 which was a good pace for me. The next few km's were fine and then I started to feel an increasing heaviness to my body, not like a normal racing heaviness but one that I couldnt just push through. As the race continued, each km got slower and slower and I think at one point, I knew that it wasnt going to be my dream race. My left hamstring/glute was also getting increasingly tight as the race went on and this has been a problem for me all year but usually I can handle it. I finished the race in a disappointing 52nd place in a time of 1:37:36, far from my PB or my goal time.
I heard from a lot of friends and family that they were happy to see me "smiling" the whole race. I wish that was the case but it was a grimace for both the agony and disappointment I was feeling. I know that a lot of people are saying or thinking that I can never perform at the big championships and I know it seems that way. I believe that a lot of my championships, there have been a legitimate reason for not doing well but this time I cannot say the same thing. As I said above, I thought I was in the best shape of my life and that I did everything right and so this time, I cant explain what happened. Now that it has been a week and a half since the race, Tim and I have had a lot of time to reflect on what happened. The only thing I can come up with is that I may not have eaten enough during the day. I ate my main meal at 11am that day and didnt really eat much after that. This may explain why I ran out of "fuel" by halfway through the race and couldnt push through it. The other "reason" may be that I was in my monthly cycle and that this may have caused my body to react the way it did. These are the only real things I can come up with.
No matter what it was, it doesnt change that I am extremely heart broken by my result. I know a lot of other people are disappointed in me too but no one is more upset than I am. I am the one who has to live with this the rest of my life. This is not what I had planned for my Olympic debut. My mind has already been torchuring itself enough since the race. I am reminded of this every minute of the day it seems. It is going to be really hard to get over but I know I will get over it in time.
I appreciate all the support and kind messages before the Games and after. I know how proud all of my true friends and family are of me and I really appreciate it. I am now trying to figure out plans to do another race before I finish the season off so that I dont waste my fitness. I wish I didnt have something to bounce back from but this is sport and it has its ups and big downs. Ill keep you posted on what I decide to do.
It was so great to have my family in London with me. The day after the race we all went sightseeing and it was nice to spend time with them. My experience at the Olympics other than the race was great. I wish that I would have been able to experience more than I did but the Opening and Closing Ceremonies were amazing and I will never forget the feeling of walking into the Olympic stadium. I look forward to the journey over the next 4 years leading up to the 2016 Olympics.
Keep on walking,